To my ultimate wingman

Last week, you randomly gave me a call telling me that you’re going to Valkyrie. Deep in mind I know you’re heartbroken, cause knowing you, you only initiate to see me when you have girl problems. (Hahaha) Too bad I was already on my way home. So I told you, and you promised me, to just visit me again to work that weekend so we can catch up. You even tried to call me late that night but I was already asleep. I never thought that’s the last time I will hear your voice.

We’re not the best of friends. We don’t have picture together cause we never want to be an item. Haha. And last year, when I transferred job and you started to expand your car business, we rarely see each other. However, you made sure you’re there when I needed it most.  You made sure you’re still my ultimate wingman.

From your random messages and sarcastic comments on my social media accounts to always assuring me that I can always count on you. From going bar hopping last year to love and life talks this year. Or when I just needed someone to be crazy with or to drink with or needed someone to act as my boyfriend. You’re just there.

As I got the news of you passing away yesterday due to a car accident, I can’t express the right words to say. I keep on telling myself “hay naku si ej talaga, tigas ng ulo.”, I keep on telling you that cars don’t fly, but when they told me you’re not the driver when the accident happened broke my heart even more because knowing you, you can handle your car and yourself.

It’s just too soon. I wanted to say “sayang”. But I know you’ll hate me for that, because you are the kind of person who live life the way you always wanted it to be. Because that’s who you are. Seizing every moment. Making every second count. Making no room for regret no matter how crazy or how stupid it is. But life left us with no choice but to accept what happened no matter how unbearable the pain is.

And at this point I just want to celebrate your life. I have no words but thank you. For being such a good friend and wingman to me. For supporting and spoiling me. For showing yourself in my office pretending to be my boyfriend infront of that certain officemate that I hate. For allowing me to kick your car when I’m frustrated with life. For being the gentleman, always driving me home with your sports car even when you know how high the humps are going to my house and we would just have that “oops-sumayad-kind-of-face” every time it will hit it.

For the countless memories when we’re still into hitting number of bars in one night. When our sign to transfer is “Sir last order na po?” of the waiters. When we will play beerpong in Cable Car to have free drinks. When you would ask me to meet you to catch up when in reality you just wanted a company watching over your cousin and his classmates go to bar. I still can’t believe we went out, you driving a van to a bar. We literally looked like a schoolbus going out that night. And worse, we ended up to your house taking care a bunch of teenagers. Indeed, good times.

I have nothing but gratitude for the talks we’ve had. The nights where you will just share your love story and would ask me stuff about girls. You wanted to understand us and this life, but we both know it’s like aiming to finish all the alcohol in a bar, we just can’t. I will miss those times where we call each other up just to update about our lives.

I will miss your sarcastic comments on my social media. I will miss sharing all the details of my lovelife with you. Your pangaasar when Im kinikilig and most especially your words when Im losing myself and breaking down. (but since you’re gone, I will try my best not to be lost anymore and to keep it all together) Your presence in the recent heartbreak that I had made everything a little bit easier. I promise to always, always remember your words.

But more than anything, I will miss you. Your kindness, your thoughtfulness, how you love cars and share your plans about everything. More so, your sincerity. No bs. You say what I should hear. You’re a friend like that.

Dude, you’re probably one of the most genuine person that I know, and it really saddens me that I won’t have that kind of talk with you again. That we won’t have that chance to go out again. That I won’t taste your cheesy baked penne. But of all, it’s heartbreaking to know that I won’t have my wingman ever again.

I, we, may lost you physically. But your memories will always live in our hearts. As long as I will see a pimped car on the road, and I will be into this dating shit as you call it, I will remember you.

Til the last ride my friend.

Love lots,

Jess